Can you share a lesson that you learned later in life and how it has impacted your current lifestyle, mentality, or attitude?

I was always that one eager person to help someone in need without realising the consequences it might have. I have helped people from Quora & other places during the time when I had nothing on me. I couldn’t say No when a man manipulated me into giving him a huge amount for his daughters education during Covid. I later got fed up asking him to return. He returned after two years. His wife was a working lady at a good corporate place. He lied to me as he wanted money for his alcohol addiction

It’s very freeing.

I lost a lot of money trying to fit in. I don’t like expensive English meals at fancy restaurants. But my friends did. I couldn’t say No thinking I would be judged. But I love ‘Desi food’. I didn’t enjoy the food, & I ended up paying huge split bills so many times

Is it fair that 3rd world migrants and refugees are being put up in first class hotels in the UK when there are historic levels of homelessness and poverty?

I couldn’t say No to strangers talking & invading my personal life. It made me uncomfortable but somehow I entertained forcibly. This made me realize that I was an easy target for them. They thought of me as an easy prey. This always ended up hurting me because I knew there should be a boundary set , yet I couldn’t set it as I was just a naive small town girl

But here’s the hard truth I learned much later in life.

No is a complete sentence & it should not be just used for CONSENT for sex.

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I would spend hours, sometimes days, replaying the decision in my head, regretting my response, wishing I had been honest.

It has been an easy life.

I lost a lot of my time to help, keeping my needs aside & the favour was never returned because most people took my time for granted & I also hesitated to ask for help

If my lovely sister sleeps with my boyfriend, what should I do about her?

I am thankful to my profession & how I started from scratch that I was able to become so blunt & straight forward.

It drained me, messed with my peace, and cluttered my mind with unnecessary stress.

This is how I paid for not being able to say NO.

Should the government solve the housing crisis by building large numbers of affordable homes to force the market downward? Perhaps $200,000 homes in an area of 500k homes.

Whether it was a friend asking for a favor, an invitation I didn’t feel like accepting, or even a stranger requesting my time, I hesitated to say no

Many people especially girls will be able to connect with this answer.

No meant she is being rebellious.

What is the difference between using a brush for air drying and blow drying?

But my mind wouldn’t let go of it.

Everytime I said yes when I wanted to say no, I paid the price.

It’s very settling.

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I have ruined my sleep & rest hours with nonsense calls from nonsense people. No matter what the time, I have picked up their calls & listened to their rant for hours. I could not be blunt saying, ‘no am not interested in talking’

I always felt obligated to be polite, to be accommodating, to be the “nice” person because the dictionary of ‘good girl’ means they should be accommodating according to the society.

It’s very freeing.

What was something inappropriate a member of your family caught you doing?

It’s very refreshing.

I used to be the kind of person who found it incredibly hard to say no. I would keep people’s feelings above mine.

-Smita Mishra

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